Goodbye Dad, I Love You

It was on a Friday when I received an urgent phone call at work from my sister, Jacquie, telling me that our Dad had been rushed to emergency. My Dad lived in Mississippi and I live in California. To give you a little background; my Father, Jim, had been diagnosed with lung cancer just two months earlier. The cancer had spread to his kidney, liver, and colon, when his condition was complicated by an onset of pneumonia and dehydration. By this point my Dad was unable to eat or walk and weighed less than 130 pounds, which is painfully thin for a man who at one time was 6 foot 4 inches tall. All he could do is sleep and sit in his favorite chair.

On that unforgettable morning of March 8th, Shirley, my Stepmother, knew something was terribly wrong when my Dad collapsed and lost his vision in one eye. When my Dad finally arrived at the VA emergency room, the doctor determined that he had pneumonia and dehydration, so he was admitted to the VA hospital. By the time they admitted him he was very restless and uncomfortable. Once Dad got settled into a bed he was able to lay on his side and doze off while Shirley filled out some forms at the nurse's station. When Shirley returned to the room where my Dad was, she approached the foot of his bed; he sat up with a troubling expression on his face. Shirley knew there was something seriously wrong so she immediately called for the nurse. The hospital staff rushed in to try and revive my Dad, but his heart and lungs had completely shut down and fifteen minutes later he was gone, without a goodbye, I love you, or one word being said.

As I look back, I often wonder what my Dad's last thoughts were and what he might have said to those he loved in those last few moments of life. Would he have told Shirley, his beloved wife of nearly 36 years, that he loved her and how much he appreciated her? Would he have told all of his children how proud he was of all of them? I guess we'll never know. I do know this, even though I did not get the opportunity to tell my Dad that I loved him one last time, I know in my heart that he loved me and he knew how much I loved him. Every time I talked to him over the phone I would always tell him that "I love you pop", and he always told me "I love you too baby." Those words I will cherish forever.

In memory of my Dad, I have planted two rose trees in my backyard, one is sunlight yellow, which represents the sunlight of Heaven and the other rose tree is pink, which represents the beauty of life. I like to think of these trees as the, "trees of life".

Goodbye Dad, I love you. I'll see you in Heaven.